Daily Refined

Why is it that no one seems to warn you how painful it can be to let others in?

I’m not speaking of the pain that can happen through loss or betrayal or conflict…

…No there is also a pain I’ve found in letting others help; letting them in to the room where all the broken pieces lie, where disarray reigns and nothing is in its place. Outsiders see these “behind the wall” places and a mix of reactions can follow. I’ve experienced almost every reaction to my disheveled spaces. What still surprises me aren’t the instances where witnesses run in the other direction, nor when some stand and spotlight my revelations in mockery or judgement. Rather, I am most off-guard when those select souls behold the madness and jumbled webs and yet they remain…not scared off nor throwing in their 2 cents (x1000), they quietly begin to pick up the pieces and slivers with me. Sometimes they start FOR me, until I pick my jaw up off the floor and join in the restoration, allowing them to walk beside me through it. ALLOW it. Accept it. Receive…

One of the hardest verbs in the entire world for me to practice.

So that is the pain no one warned me about. The sweet, stinging pain of receiving Love and service in times of weakened need. It’s like the pain of a broken bone, healing. It has to form a connection to itself once again. To rebuild the fracture. And when rehabilitation mixes with restoration — the recovered limb is often much stronger than before the break. How does that make sense? I am just amazed. In the midst of necessary hurt…and of learning. And to say that I am thankful, is laughably inadequate. Opening the door to the hidden rooms is terrifying. But I see and am beginning to feel what it means to “come to Me when your are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest”. That rest is company to carry. It is the sheer giving of Himself through the presence of others - the very members of His body.

Oh how He loves us so…